Buying Porn With Your Lady In Mind
When I worked in the porn industry (retail) one of the most common situations that caused couples to argue was the watching of porn. I’m one of those women who believe that there is a place for porn as well as some fantastic function of it. I also believe that the couple that watches porn together generally stays together a lot longer than the couple who won’t. There are a lot of benefits for a couple who watches porn: it’s a chance to do something dirty (gasp) together (double gasp). It’s a tool to help you explore new and exciting things to try (ie: “Oh, that would never happen” or “Oh…wow…where does that go?…we should…um…yeah“). And it’s a chance for the two of you to build a sexual relationship built on creativity and honesty.
So, how do you buy porn for your lady? Well, take my hand, grasshopper, let me guide you.
1) If you have not done so already, talk about porn.
Take some time to talk about why you like porn, what kind of porn you like and find out if she has any idea of what she does and does not want to watch. Example: My husband is really into anal focused pornography, but a lot of it is lost on me. However, if it’s well shot and the people are pretty, I tend to like it. So he focuses on finding porn that features anal scenes – to satisfy his visual desires – but that are very well shot on the side of artistic – to satisfy mine.
2) She gets the power of veto.
If she is new to porn, tell her (and stand by it), “if the scene is something you don’t want to watch, we can always fast forward”. Most porn is constructed of a symphony of scenes, styles and types. A few companies can occasionally default on constructed scenes with scripted sequences of positions and limited sexual variety (the worst I’ve seen of this has been a few releases by “Rotten Films”). Do a little bit of research online and find out what companies and styles sound good to both of you; free porn is sometimes a good way to figure out how to narrow down likes and dislikes.
3) Convince her to go to the adult store with you.
I’m assuming here that you are buying your porn at an adult retailer. If she is squeamish find a store that is female focused but carries films (Lovers and Babeland are two great examples) and prepare to shop, ask questions of each other and look at a ton of movies. If she goes with you it allows for a more hands-on experience and gives you the opportunity to engage her curiosity. Also, most of these stores carry accoutrement – so you can walk out with a little something extra to spice up your evening.
4) DO ask the staff for assistance.
If you are going to a reputable adult store, engage the staff. People who work at adult stores generally like the product they are selling, and someone on staff should be able to direct you to certain sections, titles and even help you find something that works for you. Ask if they have a rental program, but if they do not, the extra assistance will help you not get stuck with something you won’t enjoy. Keep in mind that most adult stores have a strict no-returns policy.
5) Make it part of a fun night.
Anything new should be integrated in a fun night and presented in a fun way. Go out to dinner, go to the porn store, buy movie, watch movie then proceed to mate like rabbits on speed. One of the most hilarious moments of my marriage was the night my husband discovered Projector + POV porn. I laid on back with my legs propped against the wall as he projected a POV blowjob, I spent the next 20 minutes giggling as a blond sucked my giant 6 foot cock. It was hot, silly and made for an interesting night once I lost the giggles and my clothing.
Remember, don’t give up: sometimes it takes a few attempts to find a visual aid that lights the fire in the appropriate naughty parts. Finding out what you and your wife like to watch often is a happy key to finding out what you and your lady like to do. It’s sort of fantastic.
A few female friendly Porn Companies:
- Ninn Worx: Well shot porn that ranges in topic and hardcore from basic couples to DP and fetish based scenes.
- Andrew Blake: Extremely artistic, no audio (just music), ranges in content from softcore (typically all-girl) to hardcore and fetish. A little bit of research will steer you towards the right title for you.
- Wicked: Wicked has done a lot over the past few years to revolutionize their videos and make it so that owning the video is more important than downloading the pirated content. They have a lot of full-feature adult films with story line that will give a variety of scenes as well as a pretty decent story to help the mind and body play along to the movie.
- Digital Playground: With the same stance as Wicked, they have two lines: One is more story-based and one very much not. Do a bit of research. These folks made Pirates & Pirates 2 – the movies that revolutionized the porn industry – so give them some credit here.
- Adam and Eve: Adam and Eve strives to make couples-friendly porn, typically straight couples in story-based scenarios.
—Cerise
