How do you get with girls?
How do you get with girls?
Just looking for some quick advice. Something tells me I am not good at it.
—Question by Anonymous on Quora
You walk into a room with girls. Boom. You got with girls.
Oh…did you have an agenda? 
I kid, but I’m also serious here. If you’re having a dilemma at this stage, then you’re not at the stage where you should be walking into a situation that involves girls with an agenda to “get with them”.
So here’s my advice: Start small. Get used to being yourself, and to do that you need to figure out for yourself who that is. Most people I meet that talk about “getting with girls” don’t really have an identity of their own when it comes to romance or dating. Understand, I don’t intend to sit here on my computer and insult you, it’s just an observation I make about where people get their ideas about how all of this works. If you’re looking for the quick answer…tough. There isn’t one.
First, turn off the TV, stop listening to the radio, Love Line and all of that crap. Stop reading tabloid websites like Perez Hilton. And ditch most of the magazines that offer the kind of “quick advice” you’re actively seeking here. At the very least, pay attention to the articles that offer advice on more general interpersonal skills. How to listen. How to communicate. Some of those chintzy self-help psychology books can actually do wonders as well, as embarrassed as I am to admit that.
Second, make friends with girls. Friends. I mean that! If you have to chat up a girl that you don’t find attractive at all, do it. Because the point of this exercise was what again? To make friends! Develop a good friendship with a gal with a head on her shoulders and has some confidence, and has experience with dating men or holding down stable relationships. Avoid a girl with a lot of drama, who’s always worried about “dating” – I of course mean the kind of “dating” that happens to be another word for “hooking up”. Because the point is two-fold: To make a good friend that’s not another dude so you can get some fresh perspective on anything going on in your life, and to develop the kind of relationship where you can engage each other about your dating experience. You know how you can hang out with your best guy pals and talk shop about the ladies? Yeah. You want to be able to do that with a chummy gal so you can talk shop about the dudes.
That, my friend, is where you’re going to get the advice. What you need to do is get game. Develop a great personality that women are interested that compliments who you already are, and then naturally be that person when you’re around them. If you want to connect with women and start getting what you want, that’s what you might try. If you want to get with girls…shit, son, go hit the clubs. Eventually it’ll happen. It just won’t be as sweet, and you’ll personally be no better for it. Plus, you might spend a lot of time and effort just to wind up being another cookie-cutter “that guy” who stands in the background of sets like TRL.
Yeah. Don’t be that guy. Start by making friends with women. Friends, sir, friends! It’ll give you a great insider as to what goes on in the weird mind of a female.
—Dominic Bourbon
Featured image photo credit: “Canada 11 114” by NR Acampamentos on Flickr. CC, Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 2.0 Generic (CC BY-NC-SA 2.0), Some Rights Reserved.
